Esta vez va ir directamente en inglés y sí, es personal, pero este es mi blog así que escribo sobre lo que quiero. El que avisa no es traidor.
This time I’m writting in english and yes, it is personal. But it’s my blog and I write about what I want.
NEW YORK…NEW JERSEY…
New York is the city of my life. Never really lived here, I wasn’t born here either and I don’t have relatives in this city but it has felt like I belonged to this place since I put my feet on it 2 years ago in 2007 when I came to study at the FIT for the summer.
It wasn’t my first time. I guess I was already in love with the city for I had first fallen for it when I came 10 years ago. I felt in love with the lights, the big advertisings, the many different types of people that you could get to meet…the way it made me feel…like a little ant in the center of the universe, important and little at the same time.
2 years ago, NY gave me even more than that. The trip I had done 8 years before was just a little advance cause NY ended up showing me what it is to feel alive.
When you grow the first years of your childhood going from one city to another, changing school once and again and being constantly forced to make new friends, you never get to know what having roots in a place feels like. You learn that no matter where you move you’ll always find best friends and worst enemies in whatever place you may get to go. You’ll never really be able to answer straight away the question “where are you from?” cause you won’t feel you belong anywhere. And you’ll never really feel like “home” ’cause even when you settle somewhere like I did, you can’t help feeling like it’s just “one more place”….or at least that’s what I thought until 2007…
As I said, New York has shown me what feeling alive means and has given me much more than I could ever get to imagine. And I’m not just talking about the impression of the flashing and always amazing Manhattan. I’m also, and specially talking about a little place just across the river, a place belonging to the New Jersey State which I now feel like my place and my home thanks to the wonderful people who live there.
That is what this place has given me. The taste (for the first time in my life) of what feeling “home” is like.
Right now, 12th of July 2009, at 8 pm, I’m at Newark’s airport trying no to cry cause I promised not to and writting this to keep me focused on something before heading for Madrid, back to my life in Spain. I know it’ll feel like the longest flight ever. Everytime I leave the States I feel like I’m leaving a part of myself here. But leaving NY and NJ is harder, it just hurts. It feels like loosing my dreams, loosing the opportunity of achieving the life I wanna live and specially, like living a place where I know I can be myself and feel loved.
I know I promised to be a strong girl. But after leaving at the airport the thing that’s made me happiest in my life I just couldn’t help shading acouple of tears when I turned my back. Anyways, I’ve taken a deep breath and behaved for I hope this isn’t a “goodbye”, just a “see you later”.
Julie No – MissNo
